Deconstructing Doubt!
- Kay Moorby
- May 5
- 4 min read
Part Three of the Encounters Series.
Think of one of the biggest mistakes you’ve ever made in your life.
Create a suitable nickname linked to that mistake (the more ‘playground’ the better).
Now imagine the whole world referring to you by that nickname for the rest of time!
In one moment, the nickname ‘doubting Thomas’ was born and used forever as a way to describe those experiencing ‘a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction.’
24 Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”
But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”
(John 20:24-25)
There were many legitimate reasons for Thomas to question Jesus’ resurrection, but in this instance, Thomas had already decided that the disciples had got it wrong. Unless he saw Jesus for himself, he found it impossible to believe.
There is a fine line between doubt and unbelief. We all have times when we struggle to understand Jesus and feel distant from his presence. The difference is that doubt is searching for an answer, whereas unbelief has already decided what that answer is.
In recent years, I have seen many YouTube clips on my feed showing people ‘deconstructing’ their faith. I have no issue with people exploring the intricacies of their beliefs, but I am sometimes a little concerned by their underlying motivation. Many Christian musicians and teachers I love to listen to have gone down this path. They are often from traditional evangelical backgrounds and have grown up in a world of conservative beliefs. Man-made rules and legalism litter their version of Christianity, and they rightly want to question the things they have been taught. In other instances, following Christ no longer fits with the way they want to live their lives and dismantling their faith seems like a straightforward way to opt out. There is often no desire for a rebuild once the deconstruction is complete. They look at the scattered bricks of their faith and walk away.
When I meet people who are ‘deconstructing’ their faith, it always raises questions in my mind that I’m rarely brave enough to ask.
What are you deconstructing for?
Is it to build a stronger faith on the foundation of Jesus Christ, or is it to reconstruct a faith that is more suitable to your own desires and perspectives?
Are you searching for answers from Jesus or trying to make him fit around the answers you have already decided are correct?
If you want to read an inspirational account of someone deconstructing and rebuilding their faith, I recommend ‘Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear’ by Jinger Duggar Vuolo. I watched the TLC reality show ’21 Kids and Counting’ for years. It presented such a wholesome, if unusual, picture of a devout Christian family, but it turned out that all was not what it seemed. Jinger grew up with the teachings of Bill Gothard within the Institute for Basic Life Principles. This organisation distorted the message of Christ and filled young Jinger Duggar with the intense fear that if she didn’t do everything perfectly, then God would punish her. I don’t expect anyone reading this to share Jinger’s extreme experience, but we all have aspects of our faith distorted by man-made teaching. There will be books that we’ve read that have maybe caused more harm than good, comments from others that were presented as spiritual when they were definitely personal, and scriptures that we struggle to comprehend. Sitting in doubt with those misunderstandings and discrepancies is extremely valuable, but we need to reach out to Jesus for the answers.
Jinger Duggar puts it much more eloquently than I can!
“In the end, that’s all disentanglement is: trusting God and taking the next step in the right direction. As you untangle the lies from the truth, Christ will be there with you, keeping you by His side until He calls you home.”
Jinger Duggar Vuolo – Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear
Before he could believe, Thomas needed to see Jesus with his own eyes.
Despite this need, he didn’t remove himself from the rest of the faith community.
He stayed with the disciples.
He was still grappling…
He was still wrestling…
but he didn’t leave.
Thomas sat with his doubt and waited for Jesus to show up.
26 A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”
28 Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”
29 Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”
(John 20:26-29)
The warm response from Jesus is clear, “Reach out to me and believe”.
When doubts come along, there’s no need to do a full demolition job on our faith. Whether you want to call it deconstruction or disentanglement, it doesn’t matter. In our moments of doubt, we need to follow the example of Thomas and reach out to Jesus.
Kay Moorby
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