Love

Are we doing Valentine’s day?

Nah, let’s not bother.

That’s the level of consideration Valentine’s Day got in our house this year. I’m not one of those who rail against the commercial nature of the day or roll my eyes at the giant padded cards packed in elaborate boxes...do they still exist, or was that an eighties thing? I’m just not that interested. We’ve bought some Valentine-themed Colin the Caterpillar’s to eat, but most of those got polished off yesterday.

So, all in all, Valentine’s Day isn’t really a thing in our house!

You may have noticed I haven’t written anything for a while. I haven’t had anything to say, but the many love-related social media posts raised a question for me. It’s a question I may not consciously think about much, but its answer reveals itself in my thoughts, actions, and words.

Whose love am I seeking?

It’s a question that has driven me to make poor choices and pulled me away from the only source of love that fills the void. As a people-pleaser, brought up in a people-pleasing home, I have often sought the love of others by doing what they want me to do. I’ve remained quiet to keep the peace or spoken up about things I didn’t necessarily care about to gain their attention. To attain love, I’ve changed and adapted myself to the point where I didn’t know who I was anymore. I did all of this to feel loved and accepted.

When I think back to my twenties, I can see that my answer to this question has grown and developed and is more God-centred, but I still have to keep a check on myself sometimes.

How about you?

Do you ever hustle for the love and approval of others?

Where does your motivation to show love to others come from? Is it so that they will love you back?

How much do you change and adapt who you are to gain the love and approval of others?

How much of your day is spent seeking the love of others rather than resting in the love of God?

These are questions that I’ve grappled with throughout my adult life, and they’ve all come to mind today, on this day when we celebrate love.

God created us to live in community. Our lives are intertwined, and it is impossible to avoid that interconnection. The fine line I often walk is ensuring that my love for others is an outpouring of God’s love for me rather than a desperate attempt to feel loved myself. As we celebrate (or endure) another Valentine’s Day, let’s shift our focus to the source of all love. Let’s remain focused on loving God with everything we have and watch as he pours that love out to everyone we meet.

So, although I haven’t sent a Valentine’s card this year, my heart is still full of words of praise and love for the one who loves me unconditionally.

Your steadfast love is better than life itself,

so my lips will give You all my praise.

Psalm 63:3 (VOICE)

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Kay Moorby