Soothe

Part four of the Ouch! series.

Matt the Physio: So, what do you do to relax?

Me: Erm…

I jotted down a few things on my list, ready to share with the rest of the group but recognised that relaxing isn’t really my thing. I do it because I know I’m meant to…which I’m not sure counts as relaxation.

Part of this riddle was solved by my recent ADHD diagnosis (that’s a whole other set of blogs) which explains why I have to google the plot of a film in advance so that I can relax and enjoy watching it.

Lyndon is used to this by now and I never give away any spoilers.

Even in the bath I need to have a podcast playing in the background to avoid the dreaded sound of my brain clunking and whirring.

Relaxation is a challenge for me, but pain management session number 3 placed it at the top of my agenda.

This week’s session was all about the brain’s emotional regulation systems!

No…don’t go…I know it doesn’t sound very exciting but stick with it!

First, we have the THREAT system. Traditionally, this revved us up to fight lions and tigers and bears (people of a certain age, you know what to say)! Hormones like cortisol and adrenaline course through our veins preparing us for the fight of our lives. We need the THREAT system to keep us alert and protect us in times of danger. The only problem is that these days, in our over stimulated world, this system kicks in far too often and far too quickly.

Second, we have the DRIVE system. It’s the system that gets us out of bed in the morning to get food, to earn money and generally keep life ticking over. When this system kicks into overdrive we push too hard and pile unnecessary pressure on our delicate nervous system. Too little DRIVE and we struggle to find the motivation to provide for our basic needs, let alone the needs of others.

Yet again, it’s all about balance.

Finally, the one I find the most challenging, the SOOTHING system. Matt the Physio highlighted just how important this system is. Rather than being an added luxury, it’s integral to balancing the everyday stress of life.

Too much SOOTHING and life becomes an endless array of spa days and whale music.

Too little and we fail to enjoy the things that make life worth living.

The key is to balance these three systems so that they work together.

NOTE: People with chronic pain find this balancing act very tricky. Our THREAT system is a big, fat, fibber and constantly tells us we’re in pain so we end up curled up in a ball in bed, thinking this counts as relaxation.

Spoiler alert: There’s nothing soothing about being stuck in bed all day, when everything hurts and your DRIVE system is constantly reminding you what isn’t getting done.

Then, when the THREAT lifts, our DRIVE system goes into overdrive to catch up on all the things we missed while we were out of action.

SOOTHING gradually moves its way down the list of priorities as THREAT and DRIVE take control.

It’s not just people with chronic pain who struggle with this, which is why I’m sharing it with all of you. So many of us live with our THREAT and DRIVE systems off the charts that the SOOTHING system doesn’t get a look in.

I’m going to annoyingly do the thing I can’t stand and drag a Bible verse out of context, but Exodus 14:14 genuinely came to mind.

The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.

Exodus 14:14

The THREAT and DRIVE systems do their essential job, and God is in every aspect of the way they operate.

However, when we look how God created us, with these emotional regulation systems in place, then he is also in the stillness.

In fact, he is the stillness.

He is the rest.

We don't have to live constantly in a state of THREAT and DRIVE.

He provides the ultimate SOOTHING system.

Yoga might do the trick for some people (I may have mentioned I’m not one of them) but what about you?

How do you ensure that time is taken to rest in God so he can soothe your mind and balance out the busyness of life?

Returning to Matt the Physio’s original question, how do you relax?

I can’t quite answer that question yet…but I’m working on it!

Kay Moorby